Which of these essay passages do you think an admissions reader would prefer?

"My first employment experience as a purveyor of frozen treats proved to be an unexpected crucible of personal development, fostering a deeper understanding of interpersonal dynamics and financial acumen."

Or

"My first job at the local ice cream shop taught me valuable skills. I learned to handle difficult customers with patience, work efficiently in a fast-paced environment, and manage my earnings responsibly. This experience boosted my confidence and prepared me for future challenges."

The second one, right?

This version is more effective because it uses clear, straightforward language that's easy to understand quickly. It provides specific examples of skills learned (customer service, efficiency, money management) and personal growth (confidence, preparedness). An admissions officer can quickly grasp the student's experience and its impact, making it more likely to leave a positive impression in a brief reading.

Do admissions readers a favor by making their job to get to know you as easy as possible!

Here are some tips to make your essays stand out for the right reasons:

• Keep it simple: Use conversational language instead of flowery prose. Your goal is to communicate clearly, not to impress with complex vocabulary.
• Tell a story: Make your essay easy to follow and relatable. Set the scene, use vivid details, and focus on sharing insights about who you are as a person.
• Be concise: Avoid "overwriting" or using complicated metaphors that require effort to "unpack." Remember, your reader's time is limited.
• Show, don't tell (mostly): Use specific examples and anecdotes to illustrate your points rather than making broad statements.
• Edit ruthlessly: Ask a trusted friend or adult to read your essay and mark any spots where they had to pause or reread. These are likely areas where you need to simplify or clarify your language.
• Be authentic: Don't try to sound like someone else or use words you wouldn't normally use. Your genuine voice is more compelling than an artificially sophisticated one.
• Focus on content: While grammar and spelling are important, prioritize telling an interesting story that gives insight into your character and experiences, rather than writing the “perfect” essay.

By considering your audience and following these tips, you'll create essays that are more likely to capture and hold an admissions officer's attention – giving you a better chance of making a lasting impression in that crucial first minute.

If you're interested in learning more about how College MatchPoint can help your student create essays and a resume that truly shine, we invite you schedule a complimentary consultation and tell us about your student.