Understanding Why Teens Feel Overwhelmed

Teens today face enormous pressures. From managing academic demands to navigating social media and extracurricular commitments, it’s no surprise that many feel stuck and unmotivated. Alarmingly, by 10th grade, only 25% of students say they enjoy school, compared to 75% in third grade.

One major reason for this decline is a lack of meaningful connection to what they’re learning. Many teens feel like passengers in their education, reacting to assignments and expectations rather than taking charge of their journey. Less than half of students report that their coursework feels relevant or challenging, and 46% say they haven’t had a single engaging classroom experience in the past year.

Adding to this is the intense pressure to succeed. Only 10% of high school students feel “very prepared” for their futures—whether it’s applying to college, pursuing a career, or simply finding their path. This uncertainty can lead to stress and anxiety, leaving teens feeling powerless.



The silver lining? With thoughtful strategies and consistent support, parents can help their teens regain a sense of control, confidence, and excitement about learning.

3 Steps to Help Your Teen Take Ownership of Their Learning

Empowering your teen doesn’t mean doing everything for them or leaving them to figure it out on their own. It means partnering with them to build confidence, curiosity, and autonomy. Here’s how:

1. Shift from Nagging to Nudging

Nagging might seem like the quickest way to get things done, but it often leads to frustration for both parents and teens. Instead, try nudging—asking open-ended questions that encourage them to take responsibility.

• Instead of: “Why haven’t you started your homework yet?”
• Try: “What’s your plan for tackling your assignments tonight?”
• Instead of: “You’re spending too much time on your phone.”
• Try: “What’s one thing you’d like to finish before relaxing tonight?”

This approach shows respect for their independence while helping them think critically about their choices.

2. Focus on Growth, Not Perfection

Many teens feel overwhelmed because they think they need to be perfect. The pressure to get straight A’s or excel in every activity can make failure feel unbearable. Help your teen shift their mindset to focus on growth and progress instead.

• Celebrate effort over results: “I’m proud of how hard you worked on that project, no matter the grade.”
• Normalize mistakes: “Everyone struggles sometimes. What’s something you learned from this experience?”
• Encourage small wins: “What’s one thing you can improve on this week?”

When teens see challenges as opportunities to grow, they’re more likely to take risks, try new things, and build resilience.

3. Encourage Curiosity and Self-Discovery

Teens thrive when they feel connected to what they’re learning. While not every subject will spark their passion, you can help them explore interests that make learning feel more meaningful.

• Connect learning to passions: If your teen loves gaming, suggest exploring coding. If they enjoy drawing, encourage them to try digital art or design.
• Let them try new things: Encourage them to experiment with clubs, internships, or creative projects. Remind them it’s okay to quit something that doesn’t feel right and try something else.
• Support their autonomy: Instead of managing their schedule for them, ask how they plan to prioritize their time.

These small steps help teens see education as a tool for self-discovery rather than a series of hoops to jump through.

Creating a Supportive Environment

Empowering your teen to take ownership of their learning isn’t just about strategies—it’s about creating an environment where they feel safe to explore, make mistakes, and grow.

• Model Growth: Share your own learning experiences. Whether you’re mastering a new skill or tackling a personal goal, show them that growth is a lifelong process.
• Foster Open Dialogue: Make time to ask about their goals, interests, and challenges without judgment.
• Celebrate Progress: Recognize their efforts, no matter how small. A little encouragement can go a long way in boosting their confidence.

Why Empowerment Matters

When teens feel empowered, they don’t just perform better in school—they thrive in life. They develop the confidence to tackle challenges, the curiosity to explore new opportunities, and the resilience to bounce back from setbacks.

Helping your teen take ownership of their learning is a journey, not a quick fix. By shifting from nagging to nudging, focusing on growth over perfection, and encouraging self-discovery, you can help them move from feeling overwhelmed to thriving.

The road ahead isn’t about perfection; it’s about progress. With your support, your teen can rediscover the joy of learning and the confidence to navigate their future with purpose.