Some students naturally gravitate toward activities that engage them and take initiative without needing any encouragement. On the other hand, some teens seem glued to their phone or Xbox nonstop. If your student is struggling to find an activity beyond social media or video games, it may be helpful to start with their current inclinations. Here are 4 steps to jumpstart the process.

1. Start with where they are. Observe your teen with curiosity to see how they actually spend their time and note what seems to motivate them--and what they’re good at. They may be interested (or have aptitude in) something you’re unfamiliar with. Take the time to ask them questions (perhaps while driving or while getting an after-school treat!) to understand more about anything grasping their attention. As you actively listen, sharing their enthusiasm may open the door to more dialogue. 

2. Do things as a family. Doing things together as a family is a great way to help your student - and the whole family - engage in activities. For teens resistant to more formal activities, consider their role in the family and their interests at home. For example, if you have a teen who enjoys cooking, why not invite them to create the menu and cook the meal when you have friends over. If your student is an excellent planner, invite them to help plan the next family trip. 

Here are some other examples of simple ways families can help students who have some common underlying interests build on their aptitudes and motivators.

• Instagram Fashionista: Go thrift shopping together, let your teen practice creating outfits for you; connect them with the owners of local boutiques while you’re visiting the store; support them in creating a fashion-oriented blog or social media presence.
• Animal Lover: Volunteer together at a local animal shelter or foster a pet together. The early teens are a great time to start nurturing empathy and advocacy. 
• Avid Gamer: Ask questions about the games they are enjoying and see if you can figure out what is engaging them most about these games. Is it the strategy involved? The low-pressure social aspect? The technology of the game? Is it the problem-solving, the building, etc? Help them build on those specific interests through family activities such as going to video game conventions to make connections in the industry and practice in-person interactions. 
• YouTube History Buff: Identify themed travel opportunities (even local ones) and encourage your student to document the landmarks or cultural institutions visited in an engaging way, such as through a blog, series of videos, or photos
• TikTok Artist: Visit art museums and galleries together, connect them with local artists and classes, support them in posting their work on TikTok or other social media.
• Science Enthusiast: Watch YouTube videos or documentaries together, visit museums, and consider doing virtual research together through one of several organizations that offer this opportunity.
• Mechanically minded: Involve your teen in projects around the house such as building or repairs. Volunteering together with an organization that builds houses or wheelchair ramps is a great way to build skills.
• Car fanatic: Teach them about car maintenance (or sign up for a car repair basics class together) and have them take care of the family vehicles. Go to car shows together and meet like-minded people to connect with. Restoring an old car together can be a rewarding experience to document.
• Crafter: Have them teach other family members how to do their favorite craft projects and identify an organization where they can donate them, such as making creative cards for seniors or knitting caps for newborn babies.
• Baker: Why not bake cookies, cupcakes, or other baked goods together and bring to friends, neighbors, or the local fire department. Create new recipes together, take a class, and maybe even make a collection of original recipes.

3. Brainstorm other outlets for their exploration and connect them with resources. Once you have an idea of what is capturing your student’s attention, you can help them brainstorm ways to further these interests. For example, if they are really enjoying the problem-solving aspect of video games, might they be interested in joining Destination Imagination? If they enjoy building worlds, they might be interested in taking a course on developing game concepts. If you can’t get them off of Instagram or Tik Tok, maybe they would enjoy a social media internship or volunteer position with a local nonprofit or organization. If your student is motivated by having money to spend, perhaps they could start their own business or get a job. The key is to start with the root of their interest and build upon it.

4. Celebrate your teen’s willingness to try something new. Your student may not like the first activity they try, so you can help them reflect on what specifically didn’t resonate with them. For example, if taking the class didn’t engage them, find out why. Was it the online format? Or was the instructor too dry or at too high a level? Or was it not social enough? Once you pinpoint the issue, you may be able to help your student find an opportunity that better aligns with their interests and needs. Above all, be positive and encourage them to find something else. 

Cultivating interests takes time. With your help to find the right outlet, and through exploration and reflection, your student will hopefully identify new activities they find meaningful or deepen their current interest.